So, this may come of a shock to a lot of you, but I’m actually (-sharp inhale- 28!) Ugh, I know right. In my 28 wonderful (Hah!) years on this planet, I’ve been given an absolute tonne of advice.
Not all of this has been note-worthy, in fact, about 10% of the advice has been note-worthy, but I thought it was about time I put these helpful bits of advice down in a blog, as they may help someone else. I mean, it’s advice that’s helped me successfully adult.
1. Happiness is a feeling, not a destination.
This is a huge one for me lately. Sometimes, I feel I get so wrapped up in my day-to-day life, that I forget to look around and take in everything I am thankful for. It’s so easy to think, when things go wrong, about how better your life will be when you’re ‘happy’. Whether that be, the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect boyfriend. We build our lives on these factors, and then when one of them goes wrong (or all three, if you’re my case..oops), we start to think our life is falling apart, when in reality, it isn’t, it’s pretty damn good, we just don’t have our ducks in the row.. or whatever they say.
So next time something doesn’t quite go your way. Just take a moment and think of all the kick ass things that you’re doing in your life.
Buy a new lipstick. Have a girl’s night in. Binge watch your favourite TV Show on Netflix (we all do it). Go for a walk. Cuddle your dog. Hell, if you’re me, buy yourself a coffee, you’ll be happy for hours.
My point is though, you’re amazing no matter what’s happening in your life, and it’s about time you realise that!
Alright, Mum.. jeez.
2. Have the courage to live a life true to yourself, not the life others expect of you.
Yes! Yes! YES!
As I sit and scroll through Facebook for inspiration, it’s so easy to get sucked in to the life you think you should be leading, or the life others think you should be leading.
Oh, Jenny from School just got engaged, great. Yeah, Kate’s pregnant, amazing. Me? I’ve just ate my third pack of Doritos today. An achievement in itself, sure? But maybe not to the rest of society..
My point, you wonder?! Who cares what anyone thinks you should be doing? I mean I think I should be married to Patrick Dempsey, living it up in a hot country, but am I? Nope. I’m sat at work, it’s raining outside, and I’m writing this blog.
If you want to quit your job today and run away to Mexico tomorrow, do it. As long as it will make you happy. After all, it’s your life, shouldn’t you at least get to enjoy it?!
3. Remember you’ll always regret what you didn’t do rather than what you did.
This is a proper Mum thing to say, and yes, my Mum did give me this piece of advice, during the big conundrum of 2014 when I was deciding if I really wanted a career in law. Turns out I didn’t, but that terrified me. I’d just spent four years at University studying it, for gods sake, and now my brain was suddenly like ‘not really for me, hun’. So, I left for the big bad world of Marketing, and started in a brand new sector, against people who had studied it for years at University.
But, do I regret it? Hell no. I’ve had some of the best years of my life in marketing. I’ve run some amazing events, met some crazy people and generally loved every moment of it. Would the same thing have happened if I’d become a lawyer? Who knows. I mean, I’d be much more hella rich now, but what evs.
If I hadn’t of taken that chance and followed my passion, I’d soon find myself mid 30s, wondering why I never became a marketing tycoon!
So ladies, if you love something.. do it!
Try that bold lipstick! Rock that perm. Ask that guy out.
You’ll regret it more if you don’t.
4. Wait 24 hours before getting mad and reacting about anything. If it doesn’t bother you in 24 hours time, it probably isn’t important enough to get mad over.
This is more of a recent one for me, but it’s a goodie.
I am thee QUEEN of over-reacting. I know. I accept it, and I’m trying to better it, but sometimes my lovely little boyfriend will say the wrong thing, bless him, and I play it over and over again in my head, usually ending up with an hour chat about what he meant when he said he didn’t really think I suited that yellow skirt..
Now, however, I’m waiting. Waiting, 24 hours and if I’m still mad the next day. I will calmly write a massive list to myself and then decide if I want to proceed or not. Usually, I’ve forgotten about the whole incident the next day, and everything’s peachy, but somethings do need to be reacted to.
You know in your heart of hearts if it’s bothering you and you know how to deal with it. Well, I mean you will, after a good 4 hour chat with your best friend, your neighbour, your Mum and well, any body who will listen, right?!
5. Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
I almost want to make this one bigger than all the text on the page, because it’s so important, and tbh, for years I’ve ignored this little gem. I’m an idiot, I know, but hey, I know now and I’m here to part my wisdom on you..
Yes, he’s successful. He has beautiful, dreamy eyes that you can look in to all night. He has his own place. Well, he seems to have his life altogether. Which, compared to your last Tinder date, who turned up half an hour late, wearing tracksuits. You’ve hit the dating jackpot.
But, actually, he only really texts you when it suits him. If he’s busy at work, he doesn’t really want to know. Yeah sure, he’ll throw you the odd one liner “work ok?” and as you go on and on about your colleague who said this today and did that, you realise he’s tapping away on your phone, and you don’t deserve that.
Yeah he’s busy, and sure, he probably read your message and then got busy and will reply soon, right?! Even though he’s been on WhatsApp all afternoon… stop making excuses for him, or before you know it, you’ll be six months in, head over heels, planning the decor in your first home together, and he’ll casually forget to return your text for a whole night. No thank you.
You’re amazing. You’re successful. You’re beautiful and you god damn deserve to find a man who thinks the same!
Hang on! Your Mr. Right is out there. He’s just been previously stuck up a tree or something. Lolz.
6. If they can’t handle you at your worst, then they definitely don’t deserve you at your best.
I feel like a lot of this advice is geared towards relationships.. does that say something about my dating life?! Ha! Let’s be honest.. what dating life?!
But anyway, I’ve actually found out very recently, that this one also applies to friendship groups, as well as boyfriends, and well hell, anyone in your life that you consider to be important and close to you really.
The people you let in to your inner circle, know your deepest, darkest fears. They know what makes you tick, what makes you laugh, and you bet they know that you ain’t walking past H&M without checking out those amazeballs new shoes in the window.
With this knowledge, they also know when you’re down and you need a bit of a pick me up. However, the real problem comes when you find those ‘true friends’ of yours, only want to hang out with you when you’re on Cloud 9, because let’s be honest. It’s easy to be around someone when they’re happy and fun all the time. The hard part is when they’re down and can’t seem to get out of that mood today, but those are the days we need people the most, and if they’re not there for you? You can bet they don’t deserve you on your fantastic days.
So next time you’re not feeling quite yourself, have a quick check to see who is around for you regardless. Those people are the stars you want in your life.
7. Figure out what you love to do, and then figure out how to get someone to pay you to do it.
Isn’t that the dream? Rolling out of bed in the morning in your gorgeous apartment, with your adoring husband beside you, putting on your best outfit straight out of Cosmo and getting picked up to be taken to your absolute dream job.
Or errr. Did I describe the plot of 13 Going On 30?!
My point is… imagine how easier it would be to get up in the morning, if you were going to work to do the job you always dreamed of doing?! I mean, I’m not promising the tiredness will fade, you’ll have no bad days and you’ll skip to work every morning, but if it’s something you love, the bad days become a lot less and the great days come a lot more.
So why not make that dream a reality?! It’s coming up close to January soon, so make that one of your New Years resolutions. Take the time for you and start to think about what makes you happy, then figure out how someone will pay you to do that.
You got this. Girl Boss!
8. Whenever something happens that makes you sad, ask yourself whether you’d still care about it in a year.
Ahhh. The art of letting things go. Honestly, I’m not great at all.
I’m a work in progress still..
My Mum tells me this one all the time. Aww, aren’t Mum’s awesome?!
Whenever I get sad about things in my life, she tells me I won’t be bothered about them in a year or so, and you know what? She’s usually right. Annoying. It also makes me feel better about my current life altering situation that I’m going through.
I mean – what the hell didn’t he text me back?! I’m obvz the only girl going through this in the world.
Seriously though. It’s not worth your time. Get back to being awesome. That’s an order!
9. Dreams don’t work, unless you do.
You’ve got to do some hustle.. forgive me, I’ve watched too many episodes of Power this week.
Still though. How many times have you scrolled through LinkedIn and found that person has your dream job, and god, she’s so lucky, she gets everything. When in reality, she’s worked her butt off for the last 5 years and has struggled with awful bosses before hand.
She’s worked for her dreams, you have to do.
Besides. It’s not as fun if it all comes easily to you. Set a goal. Work towards it. You’ll be super thankful when you achieve it! Trust me!
10. It’s OK to not be OK, as long as it’s not forever.
There’s such a stigma behind mental health these days, and about being OK 100% of the time, but that’s so unrealistic! You’re not broken if you’re currently going through a bad patch, and you’re allowed to take some time out to feel bad about your current situation, as long as it’s not forever.
You’re human. You don’t have to be perfect all of the time, even though hey, we know that you are.
If you’re not OK this week, lets aim for next week. If you’re still not ok, let’s just aim for one good day.
We got this!!
So that is my best advice. I hope it helps you a little bit.
Let me know what bits of advice you’ve been given!